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I ran into that boy at a Christmas party decades later. But I thought he wanted to be my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him hold my hand. He looked at me with a blank face and dead eyes. The next day I tried to talk to him, to tell him what had happened wasn't okay.
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Perhaps his ears were too full of locker room banter. I said, “No.” I said, “Stop.” I tried pushing him away.
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When I was fifteen I was date raped at summer camp by a boy I had a crush on. I pretended I was okay, but I tried to kill myself not long after that. How had this happened? Had he started listening to locker room banter? This man had known me since I was nine - he had two daughters. It took twenty years and much therapy before I could tell her the full story, before I could admit it even to myself. I told my mother only that he had propositioned me, not anything else.
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I went to school the next day, sitting in class like nothing happened. He told me it was “safe” to have sex with him - he’d had a vasectomy and wouldn’t get me pregnant. He sat on my bed, ran his hand under the covers and put his fingers up inside me. My mother’s boyfriend came into my room to say goodnight. The second time I was kissed I was twelve or thirteen. I was reading Beverly Cleary books and wishing I could be a horse.ĭo you think he had been listening to locker room banter? I don’t know why he thought he could do this. He lifted me up by my armpits, sat me on the kitchen counter, leaned over me and slid his tongue into my mouth. The first man who kissed me when I didn’t want him to was the boyfriend of my babysitter. All rights reserved.The Record's Jeannie Yandel speaks with Tara Weaver about her experiences with sexual assault. reserves the right to make additions, deletions, or modification to the contents on the Website at any time without prior notice.Ĭopyright © 2013-2022. In no event shall be liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, whether in an action of contract, negligence or other tort, arising out of or in connection with the use of the Website or the contents of the Website. Accordingly, to the extent permitted by applicable law, we exclude all express or implied warranties, terms and conditions including, but not limited to, implied warranties of content, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. Terms of service: You agree that you are making use of our services at your own risk, and that they are being provided to you on an "AS IS" and "AS AVAILABLE" basis. We do our best to delete links to inappropriate content expeditiously, when it is reported.